Every day's a new beginning. I simply use New Year's to celebrate with others.

I left the bag too long in the water. I hurried as fast as I could, but all that was left for me to do was drink my bitter tea.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
 according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
   blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
   and cleanse me from my sin.

 ³ For I know my transgressions,
   and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
   and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
   sinful from the time my mother conceived me. ⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
   you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

 ⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
   wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
   and blot out all my iniquity.

 ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
   so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
   you who are God my Savior,
   and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
   and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
   you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart
   you, God, will not despise.

 ¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
   to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
   in burnt offerings offered whole;
   then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Don't Pinch Me: The Story of my Weight and Me

When going grocery shopping with my aunty today I made a lot of healthy choices. But then I made the mistake of picking up a box of Dole ice pops. My mom has been commenting on how I eat sweet things like Au'some fruit snacks (like 1-2 of those small pouches a day) and how it doesn't give my blood sugar a chance to "regulate itself" or something like that. Now she was commenting on it again. Then my aunt reached and pinched some of my arm fat.

Why am I writing about this? Because these are people that I care about who don't even realize how much I've been through with my self-esteem and my body. I am a naturally thick girl. I have full thighs that touch each other, and I'd probably have to starve myself to get them not to touch. I hated them ever since puberty in 5th grade. I have hips that curve and that I love. I have a comparatively small waist that I think is gorgeous. My arms are a little thicker, especially when I have them close to my body. My breasts are proportional to me in the most lovely of ways.

So why do people who love me comment on my weight? My mom says it's because she wants me to be healthy. I've tried to explain this to her numerous times that I am comfortable with gaining a few pounds. It's a cycle. She then says that I get crabby when I gain weight. I get crabby because she won't stop saying things like "those pants are tighter on you", "didn't that shirt used to button well?", and "you gained weight you know". Then when I say that I'm comfortable with my body she says "oh, well, we don't really have the extra money for a new wardrobe". Not having money sucks.
(My mom and weight seriously needs a whole other post.)

Now my aunt, too?! Pinching my arm?

I've vomited meals, yo-yoed diet, binged on pills, cut myself and been through so much crap. No one knows everything or how often except me and God. Ever since I was young I wasn't "skinny" like the other girls and people would often guess my age to be older because I also behaved older than my age.

Now, my letter to the world is:
I'm a thick girl and proud. You don't have to like the way I am. All I ask is that you keep your comments (and pinchy fingers) to yourself.


You don't know what anyone else has been through or is currently going through, so who are you to comment on the way they are?

Anyway, what are some ways that it may feel as though you are improving in one area and others (maybe even those close to you) are trying to bring you down?

(Image Source)

My first dinner

That I cooked all by myself.

It looked GREAT, but in reality it was terrible.
The chicken was practically raw, the green beans were stiff, and I almost choked on the rice. I had fun though, and I'll know better next time. :)

It turned out to be a good day

We did the laundry and hung it on the line and dried it. No more problem.

Truvia Natural Sweetner - Sweetness Stories.

I saw the extended version of this commercial while watching Dr. Oz just now. I really like the song and the longer commercial was really cute. If anyone knows what I'm talking about and has found it online, please tell me :)

My comfy bed

Guiltily, I lay down.
ignoring pleas to start the day.

I hate it. We need to do laundry, but last time the dryers in our apartment didn't work well and we don't want to waste money trying again. We don't want to have to wait and catch the bus with such a large load of clothes. Hopefully a cousin will take us.

Video: workout Bollywood-style - Live Well - NHS Choices

Video: workout Bollywood-style - Live Well - NHS Choices

Thought those dance moved you see in Bollywood films are pretty cool?

Well this video breaks down the essentials for you! :)

Enjoy! I know I am hehe :3 A fun workout at last! 

Cheers to seltzer water!

Zero calories and good for my health? It got my attention! :D
After buying my first bottle in Wal-Mart, good fortune caught me and Publix had their brand on sale for .50 USD a bottle! :] (But one get one free at .99 USD per bottle).

I bought six bottles. One was a Club Soda, which is my favorite now and the rest were lime or raspberry flavored (a.k.a. they had a lime or raspberry taste going down and an odd aftertaste... not bad, just odd - you know?)

After some Googling, I realized that you could make carbonated water at home with machines like these:

http://www.amazon.com/Sodastream-Fountain-Soda-Maker-Starter/dp/B001KYT6CS

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/sodastream-penguin-water-carbonator/

These machines cost about 100-200 USD. The main thing that bothers me is that the product descriptions  usually say that a "carbonator" is included that makes about 60L. After that one runs out, where do I buy more? Do I have to buy a specific kind?

If you have answers to these questions or any general statements please comment below :3

P.S. This seems like a great website for water-carbonating products: http://www.sodastreamusa.com/default.aspx

I wish I was short and well-proportioned;

what I really want is to be called cute.

It would be nice to be referred to as "something precious" and have you keep me warm.

To have handsome men want to protect me,

is truly a dream to come true.

I wish they would look down at me and say "aw, how adorable. Sweet, sweet girl."

That's why I am short in my behavior.

Submissive and smiling am I.

Waiting upon others as much as I can

though the mask tilts unsightly every now and then.

That is why my heart flutters when you say "what a sweet, sweet girl",

quietly, as though I can't hear.

Sugar High

Ate a pack of Au'some fruit nuggets and then I started talking about my "crazy faith" and how SNSD's "Sorry Sorry" version is/was BEAUTIFUL! my mother remarked that if she didn't know better she would think I was on a "sugar high" haha :3




Anywho, while I was looking for some cute candy icons on Photobucket I stumbled across theeee -dun dun du duuh!!-

Featured Image of the Day!

Isn't it adorable? Courtesy of hitomi_no_hikaru on Photobucket! Please message me if you are the original owner of this image and wish to have this removed :3

Early Morning Parentification

This morning I was greeted by a nice breakfast my mom had warmed up for me, accompanied by a glass of orange juice. Immediately after my first few bites she began to unload, talking about the reltionship dilemma of another family member and her own situation. This was just a few minutes after I had woken up. I have discussed this with her more and more lately, her venting or discussing negative situations so early in my day; however, she still hasn't caught on. At last, I finally said something like "Isn't there any other news? Like nice, positive stuff?", and I repeated this several times to show I meant this earnestly and not as a personal insult towards her behavior. My mother still seemed mildly offended, though I had done my best not to. It's just me and her in the home and she doesn't really have anyone else to vent to. It's been like this since I was a child, her always venting to me. I don't like this parentification, and will she ever realize that?

Tearful gifts

I remember how I cried when I received a gift in the mail from my grandmother's friend and daughter after leaving my mother's homeland. I was caught off guard because it was several bracelets that I ad truly wanted while browsing through a store. I think I didn't have enough money to purchase them, but I'm not sure. They might have told me that they would buy them for me, but I'm not sure.

All I know is that  when I opened that package the tears started flowing as I bawled "They remembered!" I felt so loved, knowing that even after I had left that country, they still remembered me. Across the ocean, their care for me warmed my heart. I cherish that moment infinitely.


The phone call was beautiful afterwards, too. They were surprised by my reaction, heheh :'3

Unraveling

It's funny how all the knots I thought would suffocate me are now quickly unraveling into harmless ropes.

I'm so happy I have funny, kind friends. My classes are going great. >3.8 unweighted GPA, here I come! >:D This is going to be the best semester, ever! 

A's in all my classes, I speak it and command it!!

My personality
is just
a combination
of strengths and weaknesses.

Florida Mom Arrested for Encouraging her Daughter's Fist Fight

Click to read the story and view the video evidence: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/09/24/2010-09-24_florida_mom_april_newcomb_arrested_after_egging_on_teen_daughters_catfight_shock.html

I'm a teenager, as this woman's daughter was.

In my opinion, it's better to punch each other and let it all out than
A) let it stress the kid out and give them an ulcer
B) having them play mind games with the other person and/or spread rumors
or
C) letting all that tension stay in like A) but instead have a Columbine incident

Sometimes, kids should just go old school and let out a good old-fashioned can of Whoop Ass™. I know my parents and grandparents used to, and they turned out fine. Anyone else remember hearing stories of a dad or mom saying "That kid beat you up and you just took it?" and then beating the kid too?! Well, what did they do afterward? The parent would say "Now you go and get 'em!"

(Image Source)

Pertaining to the Florida mom, I say release her from jail, please. She's probably just old school. If none of the girls involved in the fight are seriously injured, why should someone be penalized for their eye-for-an-eye belief system? Sure, there are better alternatives than the ones I listed, but I don't think they're obvious or even easy to follow through on for most people.

In summation:
Fist fight, get a few black eyes, and everybody moves on.
(if you truly keep it old school and the people involved are "normal")

Making an Informal Grade Appeal

Has anyone  had to do this before? If so, please comment below :)

LOL funniest YouTube comment EVER!!!

Its a set really xD

Here's the video:


Someone commented first saying: that was nothing but a bunch of random movies put together to make it look like digimon. WHO THE HELL YOU TRYING TO FOOL!!!?


Then someone replied saying: really are you serious?(sarcastic)

(another replied saying:  obviously not you, your just too smart for him, but it just wasn't as funny xD I Lol'ed at the other response xD)

The closer I get to God, the less I care about what other people think of me. :)

I want to go to a valley and yell. Somewhere where no other human being can hear me. I want to yell and scream and cry. to get rid of these feelings in my chest and the pains in my stomach. To stop being on the verge, but to finally go over the edge with a safety net at the bottom. Anyone else ever feel like this?

So many mean words spilled out. Delibrately thrown like darts. The wound was hurting too long, and that person kept picking at the scab.
It would have hurt to keep silent.

The line between warm and stifling

is very fine. I walked into my optometrist's ofice not too long ago. Where I live is kind of on the cold side, maybe about 50 degrees Fahrenheit. That's not bad, you know? When I walked into the waiting room it was STIFLING. As though there wasn't ANY airflow whatsoever. But it's okay now - maybe one of the employees finally said "Turn on the AC!" So, has anyone reading this experienced these "stuffy" places during this season? If so, how bothersome do you think they are?

Aww... Narsha

She's so nice and what she said on the spot so quickly was perfect!

http://www.allkpop.com/2010/12/high-school-student-confesses-to-narsha

I'm going to choose to let my hair go natural!

I'll write more about this later, but for now: sleep :)
Good night, everyone!

Pokémon of the Moment:

Quagsire!

and let's give a hip-hip hooray for Cherrygrove City! Those people are definitely honest with that whole entire "let me pick up my items from the river thing" (http://www.watchcartoononline.com/pokemon-the-johto-journeys-episode-11-english-dubbed).

Summer Wars!

Definitely going to check this out!

I'm so happy FUNimation has aYouTube channel now ♥ My friend and I have been watching Hetalia on it and the quality is beautiful. I wish more companies would realize that the spread of fandom promotes sales, so post more videos!

Anywho, the film is from the same people who made the Girl Who Leapt Through Time, which I enjoyed! The pacing was nice and a nice... feeling to it. It was very casual and nice :)

Anywho, watch the trailer above and tell me if you're interested in watching Summer Wars, like me (this goes for anyone out there, heheh [as usual]).

*edit*

By the way, isn't the quality of these dubs AMAZING now?! I think it all started with Fullmetal Alchemist haha. The catalyst for a dubbing revolution - better character and voice actor matching, ne?

My love for Pokémon

No, seriously, I wanna get every single trading card and keep them in several volumes.

The Monstore has a Furret card for .95 USD.

Anywho, I was searching for Johto and Master Quest's theme songs and YouTube again so I could include them in this post; but I found a random episode online that I'm currently watching: http://www.watchcartoononline.com/pokemon-the-johto-journeys-episode-11-english-dubbed. Ah, good times, good times.

Anyone know where I can watch the full series online, by the way?

Here you go!:

Anyone else love it when Ash, Misty, and Brock hop into the scene at about :06? x3 I think I actually tried imitating that (staying in the air and all!) as a kid. Some people say that the animé should have ended after Hoenn.... maybe they're right. I always liked Misty, so it was a bummer when they had to part ways ;w; It just wasn't the same!!

Oh, yeah! and I'm currently reading Honey and Clover from chapter 1 on (scratch) :)

♥ such a great series

Long time no post :P

Hey guys, I've been using Xanga. I guess it just feels good to communicate with others and get commented on evey now and then haha :P Hope everyone is having a happy holiday break. ~Nu