Don't Pinch Me: The Story of my Weight and Me

When going grocery shopping with my aunty today I made a lot of healthy choices. But then I made the mistake of picking up a box of Dole ice pops. My mom has been commenting on how I eat sweet things like Au'some fruit snacks (like 1-2 of those small pouches a day) and how it doesn't give my blood sugar a chance to "regulate itself" or something like that. Now she was commenting on it again. Then my aunt reached and pinched some of my arm fat.

Why am I writing about this? Because these are people that I care about who don't even realize how much I've been through with my self-esteem and my body. I am a naturally thick girl. I have full thighs that touch each other, and I'd probably have to starve myself to get them not to touch. I hated them ever since puberty in 5th grade. I have hips that curve and that I love. I have a comparatively small waist that I think is gorgeous. My arms are a little thicker, especially when I have them close to my body. My breasts are proportional to me in the most lovely of ways.

So why do people who love me comment on my weight? My mom says it's because she wants me to be healthy. I've tried to explain this to her numerous times that I am comfortable with gaining a few pounds. It's a cycle. She then says that I get crabby when I gain weight. I get crabby because she won't stop saying things like "those pants are tighter on you", "didn't that shirt used to button well?", and "you gained weight you know". Then when I say that I'm comfortable with my body she says "oh, well, we don't really have the extra money for a new wardrobe". Not having money sucks.
(My mom and weight seriously needs a whole other post.)

Now my aunt, too?! Pinching my arm?

I've vomited meals, yo-yoed diet, binged on pills, cut myself and been through so much crap. No one knows everything or how often except me and God. Ever since I was young I wasn't "skinny" like the other girls and people would often guess my age to be older because I also behaved older than my age.

Now, my letter to the world is:
I'm a thick girl and proud. You don't have to like the way I am. All I ask is that you keep your comments (and pinchy fingers) to yourself.


You don't know what anyone else has been through or is currently going through, so who are you to comment on the way they are?

Anyway, what are some ways that it may feel as though you are improving in one area and others (maybe even those close to you) are trying to bring you down?

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